How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!

What do you call a small pepper in late autumn? A little chili.

Why was the robot couple’s anniversary in the fall? They were autumn mated.

What’s James Bond’s favorite hot drink? Pumpkin spy-ced latte

What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie? Your teeth.

What’s the cutest season? Awwwtum

Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school? The Crossing Gourd.

What’s the problem with eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache.

What do farmers wear under their shirt when they’re cold? A har-vest.

What did the leaf say to the other leaf? I’m falling for you

What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin Pi.

What’s the best band to listen to in autumn? The Spice Girls

Why did the pumpkin and the butternut squash get on so well? They were gourd friends.

Which pumpkins can swim the best? The coast gourd.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to? Plymouth Rock.

What do Jedi trees say to each other in the fall? “May the forest be with you.”

Why did no one laugh at the oak tree? He kept telling acorn-y jokes

What type of vehicle should you use for a fall hayride? An autumn-mobile!

What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? Straw-berries.

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize? Because he was out-standing in his field.

What did the apple say to the pie baker? Use cherries instead.

What kind of car is most popular to drive in fall? An autumn-atic

What kind of key can’t open doors? A turkey.

Why are maple trees so forgiving? Every fall, they “let it go.”

What did summer say to spring? Help! I’m going to fall!

How did the tree get a new job? He had the right qua-leaf-ications

Why is fall the best time of the year to go on vacation? The weather is un-be-leaf-able!

Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn so much? Because he had a great fall.

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall? To make up for his miserable summer.